Come single men and more, and unto pay attention
Don’t ever fall in love, ‘tis the devil’s own invention
For once I fell in love with a maiden so bewitchin’
Miss Henrietta bell out of Captain Kelly’s kitchen

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

At the age of seventeen I was ‘prenticed to a grocer
Not far from Steven’s Green where Miss Henri used to go, sir
Her manners were sublime and she set me heart a twitchin’
And she invited me to a hooley in the kitchen
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

Well, next Sunday bein’ the day that we were to have our flare-up
I dressed meself quite gay and I slicked and oiled me hair up
The Captain had no wife, and he had gone a-fishin’
So we kicked up high life down below-stairs in the kitchen

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

Well just as the clock struck six, we sat down unto the table
She handed tay and cake and I ate while I was able
I drank hot punch and tay, till me side had got a stitch in
And the hours pass quick way when you’re courtin’ in the kitchen

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

With me arms around her waist, she slyly hinted marriage
With a dour and dreadful haste came Captain Kelly’s carriage
Her eyes soon filled with hate, an’ poison she was spittin’
For she wished I’d get ta hell, yes get ta hell out of her kitchen!

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

Well she flew up off me knees, full five feet more or higher
And over head and heels threw me slap into the fire
I wore a Peeler’s coat that I bought from Mr. Mitchum
And a twenty-shilling note went to blazes in the kitchen!

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

Well I grieved to see me duds all smeared with soot and ashes
When a tub of dirty suds right in me face she dashes
As I lay on the floor and the water she kept pitchin’
The footman broke the door and walked straight into the kitchen!

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

When the captain came downstairs though he saw me situation
In spite of all me prayers I was marched off to the station
For me they’d take no bail, but to get home I was itchin’
But I had to tell the jail how I came into the kitchen.

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra lady
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy

Well I said she did invite me but she gave a flat denial
For assault they did indict me and I was sent for trial
She swore I robbed the house in spite of all her screechin’
And I got six months hard for me courtin’ in the kitchen

With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, with me too-ra-loo-ra laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-la, too-ra-loo-ra laddy